After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
