the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I wanna passion pit in your ass
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
