YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
