Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
