When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you win again, gameday.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
