She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
