i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
How does one acquire holy water?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
