dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
