I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
