hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
