you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
