Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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