Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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