I wannas sexs uuuuu
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
thus making me awesome and them whores
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
