Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
