My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
we're making bets on your personal life
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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