I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
