At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just want nice things and good sex
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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