Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
