yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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