Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
