Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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