How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
