Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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