Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
