Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Randomize
