I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
