thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize