he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
