im having a threesome with these popsicles
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
