R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
