Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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