so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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