Will you blow on my dice?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
