Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize