I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
