idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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