And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
