We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize