Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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