There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
