I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I need water and some morals
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