My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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