You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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