Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
