Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
