i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
