Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
