OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize