I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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