I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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