we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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