3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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