Do vagina's smell?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I see more hoeing in ur future
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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