If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
3pm strippers are depressing
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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