one might say we're banned from that church
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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