On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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