I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
