you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
