I only kidnapped one of them. chill
if only i could text you this smell
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
They have beer where we have blood.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
