I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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