you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
