found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she peed on how many people?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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