Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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