dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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