I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
