um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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