If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
