it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
