Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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