We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize