Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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