so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
