a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize